Author's Note: This article was inspired by the lyrics from U2's song, "Miracle Drug."
I want to write a song for everything I've lost. The words are in my head, the rhythm in my fingers, the beat in my footsteps. There's a tune somewhere out in the rain that beckons me, waiting to be heard.
I want to write a song for everything I've lost.
For every person that has touched my life, for the sky that guides me on my trips to school in the mornings, for my iPod which has kept me going through the impossible, for every quote that has inspired my writing, every song that has brought tears to my eyes. For the home I've lost, the people who've hurt me, the people I've hurt. For the way I can see the way my words touch and kill others. For the way my eyes betray how I act. For everything, everyone, every living thing. There's a reason I haven't been broken yet, and there's a reason I'm still walking the path I've strived to reach.
I don't know what it is, but I can feel it. I sit by myself at night and I can hear the hum of the highway, the stars twinkling to the sound of my voice which longs to be heard. I'm not trapped in my mind, I'm not trapped in reality. I'm trapped in the confusion of what is real and what is not, what life is and what it will never be. My song, it knows the answer. It waits for me to sing, it waits to be played. It waits for me to cry, to laugh, to remain silent. It waits for me through everything.
It's a song that's so simply me. Not my favorite bands', not the words of Bono or Chris, not cliche love phrases that repeat on the radio. Not rock, not pop, not any genre of any kind. It's a song that lives within me, that is my life, that's created who I am. It's a song that can only be sung by me and can't be covered by anyone else. Mine. That's it. Nothing else.
Like a star in the sky that's outshined by the city, I'm waiting for the power to go out. For the world to shut down so I can have a chance to shine through the din.
The song lurks in my soul and captivates my mind. It draws me into my deepest thoughts, it takes me out to the streets to face what I have not seen. My song, it is so complex that could it even be played if I brought it to paper? Could anyone understand it? Could anyone believe I wrote it?
Would anyone even like it?
The words inside my head are beginning to take over. The notes flash before my eyes, the "Fine" nowhere in sight, and my hands playing the dirty keys on the piano, my voice ringing through the abandoned air. Can anyone hear me? Can anyone see that my song is breaking free?
I want to write a song for everything I've lost, and everything I've seen. I want my song to be the song that will always and forever be mine, and that no one can take away from me.