www.whyville.net Jan 3, 2010 Weekly Issue



UnclGhost
Guest Writer

Avatar: Whyville Edition

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Hello, readers! By now, you've probably heard about Avatar, a blockbuster film by James Cameron about (minor spoilers) human colonists who try to understand the blue-skinned alien Na'vi on their home planet of Pandora by taking the form of cloned alien bodies, or "avatars," to better fit in with the locals. Naturally, I thought it would be a good idea to understand the natives of Whyville with a similar concept: taking the form of a blue-skinned Whyville avatar. So, without further ado, let the adventure begin!

As I entered the dense jungle near a waterfall, I was instantly greeted by a cluster of Whyvillians. Many of them seemed to be newly hatched, although they already understood the importance of vaccination against disease. I was welcomed warmly into their culture as a guest. It was suggested to me that the best way to learn about their way of life would be to visit the "Why House," so that was my next destination.

The house was full of cats for some reason. This was especially puzzling, since I had been informed that humans were the only sapient animals in Whyville, but here I was in a room full of talking cats. They had adopted their own crude facsimile of clothing, which was sadly not accompanied by a conventional fashion sense. A monkey was apparently as confused as I was, as was another human in the corner, evidently extremely lost.

Fleeing from the scene, I decided to seek out others of my kind, eating along the way to restore my proper color. I finally found more blue people in the woods, but they did not seem to be conscious. At first, I thought this was some sort of native ritual, until the truth became terrifyingly clear: these were all other avatars, convening in a ghastly parody of a proper gathering. According to the natives on the scene, they were trying to flood the room, and it worked -- I was unable to re-enter for several minutes afterward. I was told that I could find helpful information where the elders gathered.

Sadly, this was not the case. The elders, or "Oldbies" as they were colloquially known, alternated between being verbally abusive and entirely non-responsive. I briefly wondered whether these elders were respected by their society, then moved on.

I finally found another blue-skinned inhabitant at an important place for the end and rebirth of the body and soul. Here, Whyvillians "donate" their decrepit, unneeded body parts before they "expire," and the restorative energies of the benevolent spirit within turn them into new parts. Whyvillians believe that your essence returns to the earth once it expires, where it can provide for newer generations.

During this experience, I gained the trust and respect of the natives, and I hope to use this information for the betterment of mankind.

-UnclGhost

 

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