"Stubbornness does have its helpful features. You always know what you are going to be thinking tomorrow." ~ Glen Beaman
To the anonymous author of article 11657, and also, to whom it applies:
Change is eminent.
Situations change, lives change, people change. Is there any reason to deny this transforming part of life? To deny this constant force is to say that the grass isn't green. How ironic, though, that even the grass changes from green to yellow to brown. So perhaps the saying should be to deny change is to say the grass is, in all it's entirety and life span, green forever. But that's far too confusing to even mention.
Time changes, from 11:10 to 11:11. Every second, every millisecond, every jiffy of a second, changes in number (mind you, only to repeat itself again). Change is what has to happen in order for us to live. In order for a small and squiggly insect to grow into a butterfly, it requires changes to happen. So it should be the same that if a person's feelings are cold and ugly, then it needs change to transform into a beautiful soul. Do I have the right to judge whether someone needs to change or not? No, I suppose not. I don't have any kind of scholastic diploma that states I can judge people without them getting pissed off. It's inevitable that someone would be angry in being told that they have to change, or that something is "wrong" with them.
We all want to feel comfortable, though, I'm certain of this. Everyone wants to have a place, to have a nice warm blanket of themselves to settle down to every day. Why would anyone choose discomfort over a rut of stagnant contentment? This calm, unchanging peace we have in ourselves is the only thing we can cling to. Our personalities are the only part of us we really have complete control over. In a world that is changing, we want to be the same.
Consistence is key, consistence is key. Is it really? Is it absolutely necessary to be the same person throughout one's lifetime? It's almost unexciting, actually. No change in lifestyle or mindset is rather . . . boring. Though comfortable, it's unchanging and unsurprising and predictable. Perhaps it's proper, then, to make the conclusion that change is good? But, no, that can't be.
If change were good, then everyone would change.
Take someone who is mean, cruel, and stubborn, for instance. They are stubborn to believe that they don't need to change. That somehow, they are better than everyone else. They may convince themselves that they are really what the world wants to see, they are imperfect but that's what the world needs to love because they are too insecure to change for the world. Why would anyone want to change for someone else, anyways? If someone's going to transform their personality, they should do it for themselves, not someone else. But when it comes down to where they are hurting other people, where they are purposefully screaming out blasphemous names just to put someone down or give themselves an outlet for their internal anger, that is the point where doing something for the world is a good thing. I believe it's referred to as being "selfless"? Oh, but why would anyone want to care about anyone else when they have their own issues to deal with.
These kinds of people, they have a few really good friends that care about them a lot but wish that this unchanging person would just change. These friends are tired of watching people be put down by this self-centered and inconsiderate person who refuses to give up confidence and pride just to let a kid have a nice day. They want to help this person change, but their friend is determined to stay the same. This person knows that being hurt sucks, that pain isn't good. They've experienced it themselves. So why make others feel the same?
The typical bully. Everyone knows hurting someone is bad, but it seems like this adult who has been hurt thinks they are alone with this inside pain. They hear the words and know that there are others who have been bullied and feel just the same, but they are too stuck in the mindset that they are alone because they want to feel special in whatever way they can. Feeling pain is one of those ways, even though it's not really different at all from the other thousands of people experiencing the same feelings.
Perhaps the issue is, though, that hurting others makes humans feel good about themselves. Being on top, being the best, that's what this personality type craves. That's why they constantly pick at someone, they are always the first to disagree. They are the conformists of nonconformists. Do you think it ever occurred to these people that they aren't alone? The reason they constantly want to stay ahead of the game is because they don't realize no one else is playing the game besides the people just like them who want to be on top, but who will never be because the amount of stress and discomfort they cause others is only creating more people like them.
It's a constant struggle, a fight against everyone else to have these kinds of traits. Always wanting to be the best means adding stress to oneself to be better. "Winning isn't everything" is just something losers say in the minds of these people. The real problem with being stubborn is that you won't realize you should stop being stubborn until you stop being stubborn. Until you realize that being selfish means nothing. You aren't any more special than anyone else. We are all hurt, some of us just aren't as dramatic as you.
Some of us just don't make as big a deal out of being hurt as you. We hide it, and deal with it ourselves, not by thrashing it out at other people for pointless attention.
You're trying to give yourself an outlet to get rid of the symptom, instead of getting rid of the actual problem of "internal pain".
You're only looking for someone to listen so that you can be cared for, so that you can feel special, but why would anyone listen to you complain about the pain if you aren't going to try and change the circumstances? There are kids out there who have a life much worse than yours. Try and be positive sometime, but oh wait, that would mean changing.
Maybe change is a good thing.
I wouldn't suggest it if I hadn't been through it.
Author's Note: I truly don't mean to offend anyone with this. I know there are a few names in there and sarcastic comments about this kind of thinking, and I'm sorry if you take offense with it, but I'm honestly tired of people hurting other people. Peace be with you, and don't hesitate to scream at me in the BBS about how wrong I am, how offensive you found this and how mean I might've been. Have a wonderful day, full of considerate and loving feelings.