I don't like what I have been this year. I've been rude, careless, and stupid with what I do. I want that to change. I usually get in stupid little fights with friends about nothing. We end up not talking for the longest time. I get in fights with the same people. Is it me being rude? Or is it how careless I am about choosing the right friends? Sometimes it's one, sometimes it's the other. If this continues to happen, then I won't have any friends that will help me along the way. I miss being the nice girl I was a few years ago. I want to be her now. But it seems like I won't change.
Am I growing up too fast? Most of my friends are older. Maybe it's that. But I really don't think it is. I think it's me spending too much time on the computer and not around family. I spend too much time with friends. The only time I really see family is when I walk through the door. Other than that, I am upstairs either in my room on my laptop, or in the computer room on the family computer. I go on social networks on the computer with friends, or at least I think they are, and I talk. Eventually, we get annoyed and start to argue. I have lost a few friends just because of this. I don't want it to happen again.
My mother was just talking to me about how she thought I was growing up too fast. She thinks it's the friends I meet that are way over my age. She could be right. That doesn't mean I don't talk to you because I don't like to hang around you. It means that I had to make a choice and select my friends again. I don't like what I have been this year. I've been rude, careless, and stupid with what I do. I am going to change.