www.whyville.net Apr 8, 2012 Weekly Issue

Guest Writer

The Rhinoceros Party of Canada

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Let me guess . . . you read the title and as of now you are confused! As was I when my teacher first mentioned the rhinoceros party of Canada. Rhinos don't have parties I thought to myself, so, I awkwardly raised my hand and asked, "The rhinoceros party of Canada . . . What on EARTH is that!?" Well my fellow Whyvillians, I will tell you!

What is the rhinoceros party?

The rhinoceros party (founded by Jacques Ferron), as loopy as it may seem was an official democratic party that wasn't exactly the most . . . serious. They were an official party from 1960-1990 and they proclaimed to bring the "mock" back in democracy. The rhino party's basic promise was to "promise nothing" although they often stated they would do outrageous things just to amuse the public!

What did the rhino party want to do?

Every party has goals opinions and promises that they tell to the public so the public votes in their favor, like some parties may want to lower pollution, end slavery, make chocolate illegal . . . WHATEVER! So, of course, like every other party the rhino party has some very . . . Interesting . . . Promises . . . such as:

- Tearing down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans could see the Pacific sunset.
- Providing higher education by building taller schools.
- Repealing the law of gravity.
- Declaring war on Belgium because a Belgian cartoon character, Tintin, killed a rhinoceros in one of the cartoons.
- Selling the Canadian Senate at an antique auction in California.

Success . . . or failure?

Understandably, the rhinoceros party saw little political success during its run. Only once did the party receive more than 1% of the popular vote - they received 1.01% in fact. Their greatest political achievement, it was earned in 1980. 121 candidates were nominated; they received a total of 110,286 votes. They disbanded in 1993 and moved on to greener fields (rhino . . . lives in fields . . . get it . . no? not funny . . . okay . . .) Other former rhinos formed the Lemon party and Fran?ois Gourd later started another political group, The Entartistes. The Entartistes got attention in the 1990s by smacking cream pies in the faces of multiple Canadian politicians.

End of the rhinos

Well, we highly doubt the return of the rhinos, but they were brilliant comedians and they served their purpose! I really think the rhinos showed what politics truly is. A bunch of fools trying to get the vote. It's too bad they had no money or perhaps they would have continued that masterful party!

Well! All I have to say now is Celery and Sidewalks! (Quote from one of the party's radio platforms)

Your Rhino reporter,

Author's Note: Source: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinoceros_Party


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