Love and lust are two commonly misinterpreted words that often mislead us. They are inextricably intertwined and it's easy to confuse one with the other. Lust is self serving, love is unlimited and unselfish, and although love doesn't exclude lust, it's handy to know the difference between the two.
The idea of love is the acceptance if something the way it is. We love our family despite how crazy, disturbing, or 'normal' they are. We love our closest friends because they have always been there for us and we always have a lot of fun together. Some fall in love with their significant other and accept their ways for what they are.
But as easily as you can love something, you can just as easily hate it. Some family members you stop talking to, friends become enemies because they've changed for the worst, and significant others break your heart. It's not science, it's just how it is.
It's very easy to confuse love with lust because despite the similarities, lust is the idea of the 'want' and can't live without. We don't lust for just people; we lust for the new and up to date iPhones or tickets for this year's Superbowl. Lust is too much like people feeling that there is no other option, whereas love can do the same thing but love takes longer to realize. Those who up and fall in 'love' with a person they have been seeing for two weeks, is not love. That's lust. That's a person thinking, 'This is the only one for me and I can't live without them,' whereas love is the building of a foundation of a relationship between two people where no matter whether they are in the same room or in a different state you still love them. Fact is, both are corruptible, the only difference is love is something that is earned whereas lust is something that is wanted.
Is it lust? How can you tell? It's simple, really.
It is most likely lust, if:
- You don't care about what he/she has to say.
- You focus more on the person's body and looks, never their personality.
- You want him/her, you don't need him/her.
- You're more focused on the experience instead of the emotional connection.
- The physical connection is more important to you. You never want to stick around and talk to the person.
- At the end of the day, you're just lovers. Not friends.
- You get lost in conversations, you can spend hours talking to this person and you're willing to listen to everything this person has to say.
- You can see a future together.
- You're optimistic to introduce the person to your family and friends.
- You accept the person for their flaws and quirks and think he or she beautiful.
- They come to mind for no particular reason.
- You challenge and motivate each other, you would do anything to make each other happy.
- All you want to do is be with the person, it doesn't matter if it's anything physical or not.
- This person is your best friend, and lover.
These fundamental differences often affect whether or not a relationship will be long lasting and will endure the test of time. The separation of love from lust is further complicated by the fact that lust can exist in a loving relationship. The opposite, however, is not possible. Think twice before you tell someone you love them, don't ever allow you emotions to yank you into a relationship that's destined to fail.