I can't help but think that this time last year, you and I were peanut butter and jelly, soap and scum, armpit and armpit hair, as you used to so gracefully say it. We would talk constantly, every day, I invited you places, we started hanging out, and things were going great. Then I asked you out, really asked you out, and you said no because I had dated your friend last year, and it was "girl code". It was alright with me, I mean, I believe that friendship should be more important than relationships, so I let it go. Four months later, I asked you out again, certainly this "girl code" had passed, and we could date. You said no, again. This really brought me down, because I was just assuming you weren't into me at all. You still hung out with us at break and lunch, but you wouldn't look at me when we talked just you and me. Then you stopped hanging out with us (as most of our group did crumble and fall apart), because I was friends with a girl, who will be called "T", you did not like. I still liked you, so I tried to stop being friends with her, but I realized that friendship are greater than relationships and you probably wouldn't hang out with us anymore even if I stopped being friends with her.
I started going through some trouble, not just at school, but at home, things were happening, my friends were leaving me like I had a contagious disease, and my world as I knew it was falling apart. I tried to start up what we had again, but you had no interest. You started doing the same things we did, but with other people. We would talk, only a couple of murmured hellos every once in a while. I tried to bring back our inside jokes, but to no avail.
Then, one of your friends, let's call her "C", was interested in me, and I didn't really know her, but you insisted I go out with her and other people did too. We ended up dating for 6 months, until we got in a big fight (The fight was kinda your fault. No, not really. It was mine, but that's a different story for another time.), and then it was over between me and her, and you didn't know, or care, I think, because you never did ask. Then, on the last couple of days of school, one of your closest friends, who were are going to call "M", was showing interest in me, I didn't want to ask her out, but you ended up avoiding both of us, leaving her with our group. She started hanging out with us and your friendship was over, at least, for the last few days of school. I almost asked her out, except for a few shallow reasons that really shouldn't have mattered. Then "C" confessed she still liked me, and as I did like her too, but with not as much affection as I felt for you, I had a nice moment with her as school ended. Over the summer, I tried to get back what we once had. Not the whole flirtationship you were leading me on with, but at least a friendship, it could've just been at least a weekly text and I would've been thrilled, but in a moment of wallowing in self pity and shutting out all feelings I had for you, I deleted your number and you were away all summer. We were completely done, with no hope of ever becoming friends again.
The Boy Who Wasn't Allowed to Go to the Balloon Fiesta With You
Author's Note: After reading fairypup2's continuous diary, (id: 12576), I thought, why hasn't someone written a boy's point of view? We have relationships too, people we love, people we like . . . So, here I am. Anonymously, I'll admit, because I'm a coward (maybe one day I'll show you who I am). I would also like to say that the prompt, I guess, was fairypup2's diary, not my own idea, but the events were all me. My crush certainly isn't going off to college until three years, but still, a crush is a crush is a crush. Also, my name is going to be "Boy Who Wasn't Allowed to Go to the Balloon Fiesta With You" because that did play a big part in the events of last year, the year before, and this year.