www.whyville.net Oct 21, 2012 Weekly Issue

Veteran Times Writer

How To Make It Look Like You've Cleaned Your Room

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We all have those days when our parents tell us to clean our rooms or we can't do something, but how many times do we actually tidy our rooms to their satisfaction? They always find out our closet-packing tricks or our under-the-bed storing techniques, and it is hard to pull any room-cleaning fast ones on them these days. But do not fret - here is a complete guide on how to make your room look spick and span in ten minutes tops!

To begin your "room cleaning" go to the cupboard and get several large trash bags. Your parents will like the looks of this. To them, you are prepping to throw away a ton of your trash. This is only a cover, however. You are really getting these trash bags in order to have a place to store all your stuff.

Next, sigh and grumble as you head to your room with the trash bags. If you are smiling or have a mischievous look on your face, your parents will instantly assume you aren't going to be cleaning your room properly. If they already feel you are not going to be truthful about the cleaning, you have a huge disadvantage.

Now it?s time to pack the trash bags full of your stuff. Everything and anything that hasn?t been used in the last week needs to go in the bags. Whether it is old make-up or last month's edition of your favorite magazine, it's got to go in the sacks. Parents find those treasured items to be "junk," or "useless." Don't worry; I'm on your side. I know that you cherish those items even if they're not being used, so just throw them in the bag and move on. Any time you need the items, you can open the sack and take them out.

After stuffing two or three of the trash bags full, you need to tie them off and put them somewhere safe. I would suggest storing them in the attic, because who goes in there anyways?*

Once the bags are out of sight, you need to arrange items on your bookshelves, desktops, or tables. If you have books or magazines lying out, make sure they are in a neat stack. Also, any nick-knacks need to be put in drawers, placed in straight lines, or put in some other reasonable arrangement. Random clusters and clumps of items look messy to parents, and they won't buy that you cleaned them up at all, even if you did.

You're going to hate this next step, but it's crucial you follow it. MAKE SURE YOU MAKE YOUR BED. Messy beds are the first things parents see as they enter their children's rooms. If your blankets and sheets look untidy, serious suspicions will be formed in your parents' minds on whether you actually cleaned or not.

After this extraneous task, it's time to tackle vacuuming slacker-style. Use your hands to pick up any small pieces of junk, or simply push the tiny pieces of clutter into the baseboards of the walls.** If you go with the second option, I suggest you use a toothbrush or comb to rake crumbs into the baseboards. If your parents don't see little pieces of trash on the floor, they will be pleased. Ninety-five percent of the time, parents won't ask if you vacuumed or not; if the floor is clean, they don't care what you did to make it that way.

Next, food and/or their wrappers have got to go. These are simply trash, and many parents don't even want you to have edible items in your room in the first place. When you have no obvious pieces of trash lying around, you won't get complaints from your parents.

When your parents check to see how well you cleaned your room, act tired. It also helps if your voice sounds cranky. No one sane would cleaned their room and still be cheerful, so play it up like you're very worn out and flustered from the tidying up.

Thank your parents a lot for letting you do whatever it is you had to clean up for. When you act very grateful, they will be less likely to think you were faking the cleaning. Chances are you'll be happy for pulling off "cleaning" your room anyways, so any post-tidying happiness won't be faked.

And there you go! You should be tidied up and ready to go in no time, and all it took was a little bit of time and a whole lot of cleverness.

*=Throwing your junk in the attic is not a good idea when a holiday is approaching. When the Christmas tree is about to be put up or the blow-up pumpkin is going to be placed in the yard, having your junk around isn't going to be good for anyone. It also may land you a punishment.
**=If you have wood flooring or linoleum, this trick won't work. You will end up being reprimanded and stuck with baseboard cleaning duty.


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