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Torn apart, inside and out. An outside struggle, an inside battle. Contradiction being my main enemy. Every hit brings me to my knees. I try to get up, I can't get up, the agony pushes me down again. Crawl away, crawl away. But agony grabs me by my heart and drags me away.
I try to go back, back to when it didn't exist. With every tormenting breath, I feel closer to death. Every part of me struggles to get away, and I tug agony away from my heart. But it's latched on so strongly . . . causing another tear to the withered remains that is my heart. Gasping, staggering forward, falling to one knee, falling to the other, hands on the ground, gasping.
Agony hasn't left. It wraps itself around my face, smothers me. I scratch at my face, I try to break free. But oh agony is my controller. I stumble in one direction, blinded by the darkness of agony. My agony. Agony pulls me in the direction, opposite. I struggle on, but there's another force in front of me. I reach for it, and it helps me, it pulls me forward. But agony will never give up. It pulls me back, and I feel torn apart. I don't move. I am being pulled both forward and backwards, and I am trapped. The blindness slowly dissipates. One startled breath and I'm thrown forward onto the ground.
The glowing force, my savior, can be seen from a distance. I want to rush over to it, to hold it in my hands. I get closer and closer, yet, until I am facing it, and I feel just how strong it is. The warmth of it all sends ironic chills through my body. I reach for it ever so slowly, not wanting to scare it off. My hands grasp it lightly, and I feel the rush of warmth and happiness. It heals my broken heart and soul, I'll never need anything else again.
All I need is this, my perfection. The bliss of it all can make you forget. The bliss can make you ignore the trickle of the unwanted on the back of your neck. Before I can even take a second breath, I am sucked down into an endless abyss. There is no air, no warmth, no light, no happiness. All there is, is pain. And all I feel is misery. Agony is forever my controller. Agony will never leave me. Bliss can make you forget, but agony will always be there to make you remember again.
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