Welcome back, young agent. I bring good news! You'll be glad to know that after carefully reviewing your votes, the case of the Pineapple Pilferer has been solved and the criminal apprehended. I'd like to personally praise you for your patronage and for pursuing the punishment of the pernicious Pineapple Pilferer that has plagued our previously pleasant population with the presence of putrescence and poo . . . phew!
After you reviewed the case, we took a survey of only our best and brightest agents to see who would be fit to do a little more investigation and arrest the guilty Whyvillian. We wanted to make sure that the person on the job would be a real man! He must be swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the Moooooon!
This is Frank. Swift as Taylor, if you ask me. . .
*Sigh* Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons? They're the saddest bunch I ever met.
However, the agency eventually decided to go with Frank, on account of his shining credentials (and the ninja outfit). Banjomann tagged along though, and the two went out to solve the case!
Our ninja team quickly made their way down to the airplane hangar to investigate our first suspect, Bibi4evr, also known as Honest Hippo. After reviewing the evidence, 18% of interviewed Whyvillians thought she was the criminal, but it turns out this herbivore is off the hook! For now. . .
Next our pair interrogated suspect, HotTrent1, but quickly found out that he was not pilfering pineapples. This innocent death eater was only trying to take over the wizarding world. No danger here! A small 9% of interviewed Whyvillians claimed Trent was the Pilferer.
HopeLuvs was the next suspect on the list, and a suspicious suspect she was! She had risen up the ladder of guilt at 27%, but just as soon as we thought we had our criminal, we found out the truth. She's just weird, not evil. Who knew?!
After proving the innocence of the other 3 suspects, our ninja team just KNEW xoxkitkat would be the thief. She was your choice as most wanted criminal at a whopping 36%, and everyone knows a mustache just screams evil, but she was innocent after all!
Yeah, sorry. Your votes didn't really count. On that note, we'd like to thank all the gullible fools who thought so highly of their opinions! ;)
I kid, I kid. We might be out of suspects, but this case isn't over yet!
After a while, someone turned the lights back on (thanks to whoever that was!), and right before their eyes was a trail of pineapples leading into the ocean! Maybe the Pilferer is Spongebob?
Oh, not Spongebob, but a random banana! BananaBob? That's what I'm calling him! No matter his name, one thing's for sure - the Pineapple Pilferer has been apprehended! Ok, bye, have a night night!!
Ooh, you wanna know what happened to BananaBob? Well, I'm afraid I can't really tell you, punishments are strictly classified information.
But - uhm, would anyone care for a smoothie?