www.whyville.net Jul 14, 2013 Weekly Issue

Star-Crossed Steve Sweeps Up a Job

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It was that time of year -- freedom at last! For Steve it brought renewed hopes of receiving her coveted Hogwarts acceptance letter while hiding in the dark. However, her mom, who gained an unfortunate amount of weight due to Steve-related stress, had other ideas.

Poor Steve, who just wanted to lay in her room, was in for a rude awakening. There was no one to save her from her mother's crazy notions -- a summer job! Who ever heard of something so torturous?! Of course, Steve's dad wouldn't back her up, easily swayed by his slave-drivin, er, SUV-driving wife's every whim. Looked like Steve was on her own again. May the odds be ever in her favor.

Steve arrived at the mall, the perfect spot to start her job hunt. She was optimistic as ever in her ability to land a nice job with snazzy benefits, like pretzel discounts! The conceited school popular, Melanie, was also looking for a little summer career with her equally popular and conceited friend, Lauren. It turns out her (ex) boyfriend, Trent, was spending two weeks in Louisiana at COMIC CON. Can you say social suicide? Like any sane popular, Melanie kicked him to the curb.

Steve tried starting her job hunt at Akbarcrombie & Firch, but found she had a little trouble with the store's iconic toxic fumes and pitch black lighting. She fought her way through though, and while the mindless populars frolicked about, Steve revealed her business expertise. Sadly, Akbar was not impressed, and neither was his monkey, who took it in his hands to toss rotten bananas on Steve's spiffy new outfit. She got out in a split -- a banana split -- and moved on.

After her not-so-gentle let down at Akbarcrombie, Steve, ironically, decided to try her luck at the banana-loving Lopan Republic. Unfortunately, as a strictly banana-loving fruit store, they weren't quite so thrilled with the whole "pear suit" idea. Strike two for Steve.

As a former award-winning model, Steve decided to apply for a job at Cathris Keine next. Sadly for Steve, stepping on the populars' territory didn't go over too well. If the caked-makeup and flawless photographs were no hint to Steve's obvious lack of experience, her tragic downfall, literally, on the runway made it pretty clear.

Even after three letdowns, Steve was just sure that she could get a job at Auntie Amae's Pretzels. It was the ideal spot, offering paychecks AND pretzel discounts! That's like pandas and Daniel Radcliffe all wrapped up into one, it doesn't get better than that! Poor Steve's first attempts at flattery proved to be futile though, with only a costly, non-discounted, cinnamon pretzel to show for it. What a shame.

Steve decided to sit outside in the lovely company of her unreasonably-priced pretzel. Turns out she was rejected from the popular table because of wearing track pants on a Tuesday or something. . . Lucky for her, a Turnip representative on a bluetooth came by and offered her a job! Steve could only imagine the glamor of working of at an electronics corporation as fancy as Turnip. She'd be a superyacht owner in no time! In fact, she was so distracted by the glitz, she didn't catch the name goof made by the mother-loving representative.

Well, Steve finally got herself a job, but it wasn't quite what she expected. Her glorious ideas were soon swept away by 24/7 janitorial duties. The representative had no sympathy for her and basked in Steve's countless tragedies. However, we can't say that her blood, sweat, and tears (the spot on the floor) were in vain. . .


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