You were always one to be in the spotlight, to make everyone laugh. I just find it difficult to believe that you won't be in my life anymore.
I've known you since year three - we were seven then. I didn't know you all that well, but something about you intrigued me. No, it wasn't love at first sight. It was something different. I still don't know what.
You have been the only boy that I've been friends with that has not repeatedly asked me if I 'fancy' you. To you, it didn't matter. You were happy with the fact that we are friends.
Your head. Such a weird thing to insult. You were always so self-conscious of the fact that is went out slightly at the back. I saw your pain when you were called 'melon'. You were called 'lemon'. Even the teachers teased you; you were 'Mr. Peanut-head'. I was there to comfort you, to try and stop the venom reaching you. I think that these insults were meant to be terms of endearment, but I saw your face. Drawn and tired, you parried these constant references to your head with smiles and jokes.
I feel privileged to be your friend. I expect to see you on TV one day. When you are, I hope you'll remember me. It's typical of you to move so far. Although it's not your fault you have to move. I am sure that, had it been your choice, you would not have gone.
The last day of school arrived too soon. The card that I had just finished making was presented in front of the whole school. I fought the urge to hug you. I did not want to add to your embarrassment.
When the assembly was over, I sought you out. You were in your form room. Receiving hugs. I felt jealousy well up inside me. A jealousy that should not have been there. You noticed me. I walked up to you, and without warning, I gave you a hug. A hug that you would remember. You could scarcely breathe and I hugged tighter, not wanting to let you go. I smiled, trying to hide the mixed emotions stirring up inside me.
When I was out of school, I cried. I cried, not caring who heard me. Life will not be the same without you.
I should have done something to stop you leaving.
But it is not to be. Isn't it strange that when something is taken from you, you miss it most? Something that I realise now, as I sit typing at my keyboard, is something that I wish I had realized earlier.
I love you.
I never thought I was ready to love, especially at such a young age. At least, I think it's love.
But if I am wrong, I'll always be here for you. I'll look after you as a friend.