www.whyville.net May 4, 2014 Weekly Issue

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I hate Algebra
See, it's never the numbers
That make me angry
It's always the variables that make me fume

Variables are associated with numbers
They can make them negative or positive
And the worst thing about them is you have to work
You have to stress to find out which one it is

Like the circumference of thighs
Of which I myself used to wonder the variables about
Wondered if maybe I should count calories and thin out
Like, maybe that boy would like me if all he felt was bone

Or maybe the width of my hips
That spread like a canyon along my abdomen
And of which I used to hate
Because I always saw girls in magazines who looked like pencils

Or perhaps variables like media are what tick me
Articles preaching "Dont Eat!"
As though some invisible pinnacle of beauty
Will ever be more important that one's physical health

And it's like a virus inside me
And every other girl I know
We fuss over measurements and how we are seen
And I know it isn't the numbers that's the problem

It's the variables
a, b, c
Be attractive, Be beautiful, Be conformed
My gosh it's always the variables

Letters are everywhere
In cup sizes and grades of milk
How much do you fill, how much can you avoid filling?
When compared to this variable, is that number really positive?

Like clay we are molded by numbers and equations
Count the calories
What's the circumference of your waist
What's the volume of your thighs

Like the way I hate algebra and variables,
I also hate it when they ask
"Whats your measurements?"
Because all I can ever think is

"Compared to whose else?"


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