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i am slowly forgetting you
i used to count my days down
convinced there would come a time
when, god,
enough was enough,
right?
i was done missing you
so hard
the way you were
so hard
all teeth and
metal watchbands
and belt buckles
and keloid scars
tough spots on your skin
you became a rhinoceros
flagrantly wielding a razor-tipped horn
you dug like barbed wire in my heart
a scab that i couldn't stop ripping off
i am not exaggerating one bit
when i liken our love to a wound
rock-hard exterior
hides broken insides
like a tin box full of marbles
i loved to shake you
and hear your pieces rattle
it was pathetic how
that sounded like a song,
to me
i turned your wreckage into
a tambourine
i caused you so much hurt
and you turned it back on me
i hope that you are growing, now
i pray for you to heal
i think back on our time together
and wonder if it was real
but i am slowly forgetting you
i try to imagine the way you felt when you held me
and your hands are only the wisp of a ghost
i know that's not what you are like
i have never thought of you as a gentle creature
thick skin, cold heart,
i called you a monster
but really, you're only a child
i am not lying when i say that
i hope that you are growing, now.
i pray now,
and i truly pray for you to heal.
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