it was fall, it was cold |
you were a sight to behold
last september is when i met you,
with your beautiful smile and eyes so blue.
i overlooked you for quite some time,
trying to prevent a crime.
you had her, i was alone
but every time you called, i picked up the phone.
back in january, i caught your eye
i could tell that what you said wasn't a lie.
but you were still with her, i was still lonely
i knew i couldn't be your one and only.
i moved on, so did you
so as friends, we started anew.
things were good, i enjoyed your presence
but as months went by you gained omnipresence.
i saw you everywhere i went
inside it began to torment.
summer came fast and i hid my feelings
knowing the hand would be toxic if i was dealing.
even so, the feelings grew
every time i looked at you, i just knew.
my heart beat fast, my stomach flipped
all the while, keeping tight lipped.
every hug was something i cherished
hoping what we had would never have perished.
so special to me, so sweet and loving
the demons inside of me stirred with becoming.
i lashed out in fear that you would never be mine,
all i wanted was our fingers to intertwine.
i could never compete with her, you know
she's so petite and i just grow.
in one fowl swoop i ruined what could've been
and things have never been the same since then.
every day i wake up from nightmares
eyes welled with tears.
i grab at my bed sheets as i remember words you said
before i made my own deathbed.
i grasp at straws as gravity pulls me to the ground
sometimes the lost never do get found.
you're the one that got away, that much i'm sure
a smile so beautiful, a heart so pure.
but the idea of you and her ate at my mind,
and i couldn't handle what i might find.
if you and her never broke up, where would that leave me?
a second choice, i didn't want to be.
but even still, after all the damage i've caused
my brain stops and i pause.
when you walk in the room and overlook me, my heart breaks
it's so hard to smile when it's fake.
no longer in your heart, or in your mind
i've been rendered blind.
now my nights are long and cold
just like that week in september foretold.