How to Sunless Tan

Hello, it's me, MonkeyMoo. Recently in the Times there have been several articles about tanning; the good, the bad and the ugly. Personally, I don't like to tan. Partly, this is because of the risks and partly it's because I end up looking like a lobster, which is not so attractive.

Today I have decided to write the article to end all articles on tanning. It's all about the beauty of sunless tanners: what type is best for your skin, how to prepare yourself and some helpful tips. I've picked up most of this from my very own experiences and reading the labels of countless tanners. So if your an anti-beach bunny like myself, take a seat so you'll be completely prepared before you take the plunge... into the sunless tanner, that is. ;)

I done some research and discovered that there are some important things you must do before you slap on that tanner. First, you have to decide what type of skin you have and whether you've done the at-home self-tanning thing before. Because there are tons of products out there, but not all are right for your skin type. There are basically four types of self/sunless tanners: lotions, gels, sprays and mousse. Lotions are great because they have a moisturizing effect that other tanners don't. Gels are great for those who have oily skin because they don't clog your pores, which is a big plus. Sprays are good for beginners because they go on easy. Also, if you spray consistently, your tan will be very natural looking and sprays make for easy touch-ups; just spray on and you're ready (well, almost). Mousses are good for those who can't choose between lotions and spray. Mousse also dries fast, which is good because touching a freshly wet tan will leave you with streaks and spots (no one likes being called zebra for a week, haha). Now on to exfoliating... MUHAHAHA.

Now we begin with the most important part of self-tanning: EXFOLIATING and MOISTURIZING. I cannot stress this enough. If you don't do both of these, your skin will flake off and you'll end up looking like a giraffe. First, we begin by exfoliating, which is just a fancy word for scrubbing off your outer layer of dead skin. To do this, you can do one of the following: first, you can use a bath puff and regular soap. Take a shower and make sure you scrub gently yet consistently everywhere. Even leaving seemly unimportant spots such as knees, elbows, stomach, chest and ankles can lead to disaster (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating just a bit, but it can look pretty bad). Or if you prefer, you can shower or bathe with an exfoliating body scrub or a salt scrub. Girls should just make sure you don't use scrubs on freshly shaved legs (can you say PAIN! And anyways, shaving exfoliates your skin anyways and who wants to do double the work). But if your skin becomes red or sore, you're scrubbing too hard, too long, or both. Now you must generously moisturize your *new* skin. This is key because it allows the tanner to go on more smoothly and absorb a lot more easily into your skin. After following these tedious yet key steps, you are now half way to prefect sun-kissed looking skin.

Before you strip down and slap on the tanner, you should find a private area, because you'll be in your birthday suit most of the time. ;) Start by applying the tanner evenly and consistently in vertical strokes. Begin with your legs and arms and leave your driest parts until the end (i.e., knees, elbows and feet.) Make sure you apply the tanner with your palms, keeping your wrists up and not your fingers because this too will lead to, yes, the dreaded streaks and spots. Use half that you did on the rest of your body on your dry spots because they tend to take up a lot of tanner due to their natural cracks. Also, make sure you get hidden spots like your neck, behind your ears and shoulders. If you feel it necessary to apply tanner to your face, follow these steps:

1. Evenly apply a small amount to you cheeks chin and forehead.

2. Make sure you stay away from your hairline and eyebrows because the skin around them will end up looking too dark.

3. Apply a small dab to both your eyelids to keep them in tune with the rest of your face. Right after your finished applying, WASH YOUR HANDS or else you'll end up with brightly colored orange palms. After you're finished, don't sit, squirm or move around a lot. Trust me, in the end it's all worth it.

Once you're completely dry, re-moisturize to keep your tan healthy looking and feeling good. Don't shower for six hours after you apply the tanner because it needs to soak into your skin. If you notice any spots or uneven areas simply mix one part lemon juice and one part salt into a small bowl. Gently scrub this on the yucky spots, pat them dry and reapply both moisturizer and tanner. Now here are some self tanning secrets:

1. You don't need to pile on the tanner because this will just make you looking like a tangerine. Make sure you follow the directions on the pack or just remember this rule: two pumps/spray/squirts for each leg and one per arm.

2. To apply tanner to your hands without involving your precious palms, either squirt a small amount of tanner on the back of one hand and use the back of the other to mush it around as best as you can. Or, using a gloved hand, apply the tanner to only the back of the hand. Wait until it dries then switch gloves and apply to the other hand.

3. Wear a dark robe or old bathing suit because tanner stains clothing so you might ruin your favorite shirt if you wear it while applying tanner.

4. To maintain your tan apply moisturizer once a week. This will keep it healthy looking.

5. Tanner needs about 40 minutes to an hour to completely dry so keep that in mind.

6. If you shave, wait until the end of the shower to shave your legs, because this preps them for the application of the self-tanner (that sounds so professional... LOL).

7. Brushing dry areas (knees, elbows, and feet) with a slightly damp Kleenex to make them a bit lighter than the rest of your body.

8. Apply tanners with chemicals that smell will make you smell too.

9. To test for allergic reaction, apply a small amount of tanners to an inconspicuous spot so you can make sure you're not allergic to the tanner. This also gives you an idea of what the tanner will look like.

Most importantly, show off your perfect sunless tan at every possible moment. :D

Follow these steps and you'll have a fabulous sunless tan that you can show off to all your friends.

Sunkissed and ready to beat the heat,
MonkeyMoo