www.whyville.net Aug 1, 2004 Weekly Issue

Guest Writer

The Hilarity of BCs

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It's a beautiful day on Whyville... cartoon trees are drawn green... cartoon skies are drawn blue... a nice squirrel sits on a perch... suddenly... it happens....


"BC in WASA! First prize gets clams! Come one come all!!!'

The girls and guys of Whyville flock towards WASA. Little did WASA know, it would soon turn into a battleground.

The leader of the BC floats to the top and screams (err... types largely): "IF YOU'RE IN THE BC LINE UP AT THE BOTTOM AND PRESS 222!!!!!!!!!"

All the innocent children do as she says. But even at the beginning, conflict erupts: "ur sitting on my face get off!" "get out of my way she cant see me!" "im never going to win im too ugly" "you're taking up too much space, MOVE!" "its obvious IM going to win"

You can SMELL the competition. The BC starts and everyone's excited, awaiting to hear their name at NUMBER 1!

The first name is called as number 15. It's someone who normally knows they aren't hot stuff, and they get over it fast. The numbers get smaller and smaller until we reach 10. That's when it gets dangerous. No, not dangerous... CRUCIALLY FRIGHTENING! No... not crucially frightening... DEADLY!

Well, yeah, okay, maybe just dangerous.

A perfectly nice looking girl is picked as number 10. You can tell she's hurt: "10? just 10?...well...okay =("

The next few numbers have the same reaction, except they get more and more harsh: "7th? thats not fair, the person whos 1 is probly friends with the judge or something..." ....."5th? c'mon im prettier than everyone here!!!"

They keep going until it's down to 1 and 2. The last two people know it's either first place or runner up for either of them, and there's tension in the air.

Finally, the "winner" is decided, and #2 feels stepped on and #1 feels on top of the world. And that's when the fight really breaks out.

Harsh words are thrown about, while some people just go straight to the judge with their anger: "i'm prettier than everyone here! how could you give me that?" "i didnt even get the top 10!! im more beautiful than #10!" "hey! im number 10"

Suddenly... the voice of reason steps in (duh, ME, of course).

"Wooah, stop whining!!!"

Woops! I shouldn't have said anything. I should have sat in the corner and laughed and the overreacting cartoons. No, no, no, that would have been too simple. I, noldawgxx, I do not live for SIMPLE! If things were simple then I wouldn't have any interesting stories to tell to the nice people who read the Whyville Times!

The crowd of bickering virtual cartoons float over to me, sitting quietly in the corner.

Bickering Cartoons: Excuse me?
Me: *frightened of the scary crowd* Y-y-you heard me! stop whining!
Bickering Crowd of Cartoons: *attacks me viciously*

Fifteen minutes later, the last bc contestant leaves the room, and I'm left there, beaten by words of whining beauty contest participants.

I can't help but laugh and how fun it was to have a big group of cartoons get so upset about a "beauty contest".

A job well done noldawgxx, a job well done....

A day is spent and I have successfully spoke out and gotten attacked. My work here is done. I feel accomplished!

In case you are sitting on your computer with your chin on your hand with a look of utter awe and lost, and you are thinking, "And this has to do with anything...?"

Well I will tell you... people get so absorbed in their looks that they overreact if ONE SOLITARY PERSON (possibly more, but a minority nonetheless) thinks they aren't the hottest thing in Whyville.

Next time you overreact at a BC, just imagine that I am in the corner, about to make fun of you for it. This may sound mean, but it's the truth: IT'S JUST A BC! STOP WHINING!


Writer's Note: Thanks for reading my second pointless article... wasn't as good as my first, I think, but tell me what you think... I'll keep writing if you keep liking!


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