Editor's Note: We got a small bunch of excellent submissions for the jokes contest this week, especially in the last day or two, so instead of publishing them all at once, we'll give you a great joke each week for a while! For starters, Hanni319 gets silly with several story-jokes and quick punch-liner or two. Have fun!
Hey all! I have a few jokes for the contest that I know you'll just
A pig walks into a restaurant and says, "Can I have a glass of water?"
The waiter brings him a water and the pig drinks it. After that. the
pig asks for directions to the bathroom, goes, and leaves.
Another pig walks into the same restaurant and asks for some water.
The waiter brings the second pig the water. He drinks it, asks for
directions to the bathroom, goes, and leaves.
The third and fourth pigs walk in and the waiter says, "Let me
guess, some water?" The pigs nod and drink the water, go to the
bathroom, and leave. By time a fifth pig comes in the waiter has the
water sitting there waiting for him.
The waiter says, "Mr. Pig, when you are finished the bathroom is
down the hall." The pig says, "I'm sorry, I don't need the restroom.
I'm the fifth little piggy and I go wee-wee-wee all the way home!!"
(Get it? This little pig went to market, this little piggy went
home, this little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none, and
THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT WEE-WEE-WEE ALL THE WAY HOME!) LOL!
Betty adopted two dogs and named them Timex and Rolex. When her friend
asked where she came up with those names, she replied, "HELLO?!?!
After Mozart passed away, the town drunk heard some strange noises
coming from the grave site. Terrified, he ran and got the priest. He
bent close to the headstone and heard some faint, unrecognizable music.
The frightened priest got the town magistrate.
The magistrate listened for a minute and said, "Ah yes, that's Mozart's
Ninth Symphony, being played backwards. And there's the Eighth... the
Seventh... the Sixth...."
Then he stood up and said, "Nothing to worry about. It's just
Did you hear the one about the teacher who was arrested trying to board
an airplane with a compass, a protractor, and a calculator? He was
charged with carrying weapons of math instruction!
Hope you liked them!