Running for the senate race? Need a few pointers? Read the rest.
The following is a continuation to my previous article, Love
That Poll Booth!)
It's that time again -- the Senate Race. People are running (well, floating,
actually) all around Whyville, yelling things like, "Vote SenateGirl for
There is a LOT of competition this time around. On only the third day of the
race, March 30, there were already 306 wannabe-senators. One of them may be
our next great leader!
Most of the platforms that I have read are actually very good. They have great
ideas, and show that they really have plans to make Whyville a better town.
But there are some that are just plain, well, dumb. Want some pointers on how
NOT to win an election? Keep reading!
Here are some unacceptable platforms. (Note: They are NOT real!)
hey SUP lol i am running for snator becuz it would be really cool and
i have good ideas liek oppenin a bank so vote for me. *MUAH* kisses
I think even a monkey could see something is wrong with that platform. For
starters, use proper spelling. This shows you are mature and smart. Use proper
English. Say: "Good day, everyone," instead of "SUP YAWLLL!!!!!"
if you want votes. You need people to take you seriously more than you need
them to think you're cool.
VOTE FOR ME AND YOU'LL BE RICH! I have really good ideas like 999999999999999999999
clams a day! And disco open to everyone!
These kind of platforms just remind me of the poll booth. Even the person writing
them knows it's never going to happen. Heck, you might get a few votes, but
you won't become senator unless you change these ideas to something more realistic.
Think about it.
I have nothing 2 sai bcuz....yah well w/e just vote for me coz i wana
b snator!!! I have ideas that will make Whyville totally awesomeeeee
This person has absolutely no clue what they're talking about. Do they even
know what a senator is?
100000 CLAMS IF YOU VOTE FOR ME!
This is just like the one above it, except now the person is offering a bribe.
They might get votes. But do any voters honestly believe they will get that
much money for a little vote?
No bribery, please. It won't work for anyone. Especially if you don't know
how you will help Whyville. The fact is, if City Hall catches you bribing, you're
out of the race, and you might even be kicked out of Whyville.
Now, people all over Whyville are trying to get votes, but many are unfair,
even if their platform is good -- and this shows that this person will not be
a good leader. Below are some self-explanatory UNACCEPTABLE ways of getting
100 CLAMS IF YOU VOTE FOR ME!
Bribery. Just as I explained above.
IF YOU VOTE FOR ME, I'LL GO OUT WITH YOU!!!
And how does this person expect to go out with 15 or more people at once? Hmm...
And how about this conversation:
Candidate: Will you vote for me?
Voter: What will you do for Whyville?
Candidate: Umm... I'll tell you later, but please vote for
Voter: No, sorry, I don't think you will be a good senator.
Candidate: Come on, PLEEEASE PLEASE PLZ PLZ PLZ
And it keeps going on. Doesn't this kind of behavior bother you? Someone who
resorts to begging makes anyone think their platform won't get any votes...
which means it isn't very good.
If you want to advertise, do so while respecting the wishes of others. Don't
beg. Don't bribe. Just ask nicely, "Hi, I am running for Whyville senator.
Would you check out my platform?" Or send some Why-mails of a copy of your
platform. If people like it, they will vote, if they haven't already.
Now for some constructive suggestions for your platform! Don't just put a bunch
of words together that don't mean anything. Try out these four pointers, and
we'll see how you do:
1. Make your platform realistic. If you know that City Hall will not accept
your ideas, the voters probably won't, either.
2. Don't make promises unless there's no question you can follow through,
like promising to try to do something. If you make false promises, you will
have a lot of unhappy Whyvillians.
3. Look for the needs of Whyvillians. Go around town and ask people what
they look for in a senator, and what they would like to see changed or added
to Whyville. This will show you what Whyvillians see from their point of view,
not just yours.
4. As mentioned in the beginning, use proper spelling, grammar, capitalization,
punctuation and so on. You will look like a mannered person.
At the end, don't be bummed if you don't win. Only one person can win, out
of the hundreds who are competing.
Maybe you should get ideas for the next senate race? See how you can improve.
Just have fun and don't get too competitive!
Good-bye and good-luck,
Signing off. *click*