www.whyville.net May 22, 2005 Weekly Issue

What Not to Wear

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A few days ago, I noticed a poll on the Welcome Page. It read, "What type of article would you like to see more of in the Times?" More than 60% of the people polled selected Fashion as their answer.

Therefore, HAPHBAKED and I (the lovely gold837) bring you the best fashion article to ever hit this paper. Only this time, we aren't just listing a bunch of mediocre parts that everyone on the Sun Roof has. We're listing ways to help you kids create individual, unique looks that make you stand out from everyone else. We're listing ways to help you make your avatar look so good, you'll never be called a 'newb' again.

Hold on to your swivel chairs. Presenting: What Not To Wear.

Tip #1. One of the biggest mishaps (and most unfortunate fashion uh-oh's) happens when people put their eyes and/or eyebrows over their hair. Don't do this, ever. In real life, girls especially, doesn't your hair fall over your eyes? I've never seen a girl with her hair behind her eyes. I hope I never do. For your liberty, we've taken several screen shots of people who have, sadly, fallen victim to this.

Tip #2. Having no eyebrows is just as bad as having them over your hair. Unless you're Egyptian and your cat just died, there shall be no mourning on Whyville. The following kids must not have gotten word of this.

Tip #3. In my opinion, the nose isn't the most important thing on a person's face, but it can affect how people treat you. In real life, people with big noses often experience bad interactions with other people because they don't feel as confident with themselves as they actually should. A lot will have plastic surgery done in order to raise their confidence. On Whyville, the nose shouldn't be big and ghastly, either. Note girl #3 in Tip #2. Although she is missing eyebrows, she does have a nice nose. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about the people below.

Tip #4. Contacts are worn when you either (1) have a vision problem, or (2) wish to change the color of your eyes. But when did contacts actually become eyes?

Tip #5. Keep your avatar uniform. This means, make sure your face and neck are the same color. It would be kind of weird if they weren't, right?

Tip #6. Afros were popular in the 70's. It's 2005. The only problem is, these kids have hair equivalent to the volume of four 'fros.... Keep your hair at a normal size.

Tip #7. Head gear. No, not what you get if you have braces. I mean what these kids are wearing as hats. Try to avoid looks like this.

Tip #8. There are certain looks on Whyville that are overrated. So many people have them, it's almost sad to even wear them anymore, unless you feel like sacrificing your individuality. Try to get something new and fresh that nobody else has. These overrated looks include the 'Bling' mouths and 'Dirty Little Secret' hair.

Providing you now know what not to wear, can you spot what's up with these people?

From now on, think about what you're doing before you slap something onto your face. Try to just be yourself and not wear something because everyone else is. The important thing, though, is that your like your avatar. That's all that matters.

Now, get out there and buy something from Urban Decay.

From gold837, HAPHBAKED

Editor's Note: This is a good walkthrough describing how to avoid certain looks -- assuming that you want to! Many people want to look this way; many others want to look differently. That's what fashion is all about, I think. In any case, I kinda like some of those last appearances, especially the fellow with the incredibly bugged-out eyeballs. How unique and striking!


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