www.whyville.net Jun 29, 2007 Weekly Issue

Times Columnist

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Why do people do that? Some things people do just get under our skin! This week's column is about exactly that. I took a few things from my observations, and wrote them down to share with you. See, I don't try to hide all the stupid, immature things that people do. I'm here to laugh with you.

Author's note: What is to follow is a bit harsh and uncensored; so don't go tearing up the BBS at me, all right? There we go.

At sports games, why do men come up and down the steps every 20 minutes with huge glasses of beer in their hands? Yeah, they are men. Yeah, this is their time away from their dirty kids and dull wives, but come on. You just look like idiots when you do it. Oh, and does my family get to share the road with dozens of you morons after the game is over? I am SO lucky.

Why do people always talk on their cell phones while they are driving? Not enough time while they are grocery shopping, or playing tennis? You heard me. I've seen all of you. The whole point of getting "out of the house" is to do something besides talk to your friends. It's to get things done, learn new things, and exercise. Which brings me to another point: People always talking on their cell phones while running in the park or something. You run into things when you do that, ladies and gentleman. We should have learned the first 6 times.

Why do people always have to label things? This is this. This is that. Labels are for food, guys. So you know what your eating, not so you can throw labels at other people. You aren't going to eat them, are you? Didn't think so. Or at least I hope not.

Why do people's conversations always end up talking about Brittany Spears? Come on, people. We have enough bald headed people in the world to talk about, and you have to start blabbing about her. Sure, she's a blow head, phony, plastic (think about that) person, but I'm really starting to want to kill people. Why? Because they have no idea what they are talking about. They read what People magazine tells them, and they repeat that junk except they make it sound five times worse because it's coming from their mouths. They don't have a clue what her life is like, and the other factors. I'm not sticking up for that woman, but I'm just saying to shut up as politely as I can.

Why do people always have to be so lazy in clothing stores? They either leave the clothes in the dressing room, throw the clothing that they don't like in the attendant's face, or hang it on the wrong spot on the rack. I mean, yeah the people work there, but they don't work there to clean up everybody's laziness. Teenagers: Have you ever seen in job descriptions: You have to unload, wash, and hang up the clothing. Oh and, you also have to sort through all the racks to find where someone stuffed a pair of jeans, and hunt for all the hangars to the clothes someone will throw in your face? I think not. Come on, people. Why?

Really, don't hide your faces in your shirts. I'm sure many of you have had a personal experience with some of these things. Heck, you probably did them yourself. I'm not going to bother shaking my fingers at people who do things that unnerve me. I take the more pleasurable way: Shaking my head at some person asking what quarter it is in a hockey game. (Hockey doesn't have quarters. It has periods.) Priceless.

Why do people always sign out with a cute phrase?



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