I don't remember when I first got the idea for this column. I think it came to me after a particularly rough night with my parents, and I was walking around the streets, trying to cool off, that I got to thinking, "There are so many people out there like me. I need to write something for them. A column for them." I churned over many ideas in my angry mind that night, but I didn't really write anything until almost three months later. I knew I wanted a column. I knew I had to have a column. If you can imagine it, there weren't many columns back then, unlike now where every other article is part of a series or column. I knew I loved writing but if you read the very first issue of "Emmy's Logo Here", it was about immigration, terribly written, and not at all along the lines of a whole Deep Thoughts column like I had planned in the beginning.
But it got better.
Slowly but surely, that is. The first issue of "Emmy's Logo Here" came out April 15th, so in about two months, it will make this column on year old. I am very excited about that. Anyways, if you do go back to reading the first issue, you will see that the column was meant to share "all of my opinions" with you, and boy I have a lot of them, too. Even though the column went through so, so many different subjects, from graffiti to laughing, to supporting your music scene, and many articles about the seasons, summer, fall, and darker topics, like a few weeks ago death, a while before that growing up, and just last week about the society we live in.
That's why I've terrorized you for so long with this column, I will never run out of things to talk about. Sure, some weeks I might be fresh out of ideas, but this column is about anything and everything, really. At one point, I considered writing a whole article about pomegranates. Who knows, maybe I still will.
This week's column is about my column.
Amazing, huh? This isn't a good-bye letter, because I am not giving this column up. I'm here to talk a little bit about the column, and why sometimes it's so hard to understand and actually call an article. Really, some of these articles I write don't even follow one train of thought, they just blab on and on and halfway through you think, "Boy, I really do hope she has a good point in the end," which I usually try to.
This will be the 31st issue of "Emmy's Logo Here". Looking back, I think, "Wow, how did I keep it up for that long?" and the truth is, it doesn't matter how many times I say this, it will always remain true: it's you guys. All of you who read this and comment on it, whether with criticism or praise, it keeps me going, it's my fuel. I can't remember a week when I didn't get y-mails with people trying to help me out and give me tips to make the column better. It's one of the few things, besides my love for writing, that kept me submitting this column every week. Then there are the extremely special people, who I think about while writing the column itself, replaying their comments over and over in my head, striving to make this one better than the last. I think you all know who you are . . .
One of the things many have had with my column is they try to read it and judge it like a regular, informative, and I think you know that doesn't really work out. I don't write this column like an informative, standard-Times kind of article. I write it like I'm writing to a friend, I write my heart out on an email kind of . . . and send it away to be published. I was talking to a good friend about that the other day. I was kind of in a emotional blurb and in a flurry said that exact sentence, "I write my heart out on an email kind of . . . and send it away to be published." When I thought back later, I realize it wasn't me just being overrun with emotion, it was true. This column always goes off point, rambles for paragraphs and paragraphs, is interlaced with my own long stories and not-on-base thoughts. In the end, it comes together somehow, I really don't know how that's possible, but it does. So you can see how hard it is to compare this to other stuff in the Times because I believe there isn't much exactly like it. Not bragging! Sometimes it isn't in a good way.
I can't write this column without music. I think there have been two or three I've written without blasting something, but if I could remember those exact titles, I can guarantee they didn't turn out as well. Music keeps me focused and gives me inspiration. That's what next week's "Emmy's Logo Here" is about, if I don't have a sudden change of mind: Inspiration.
Right now I am listening to Blaqk Audio's "Semiotic Love". If you have been talking with me recently, you have probably listened to the song "Again, Again and Again" by Blaqk Audio because I basically forced you too. I'm having quite an obsession, you see. Last week, writing the Thrive article, I was listening to The Used's In Love and Death album. That article, kind of like most songs in that album, was angry and accusing. Music plays a big part in my writing.
So, this is the 31st. I hope there are many, many more to come. I can promise you they will be random, off-beat, large heaps of rambling and at the end, if you're lucky - a point to all of it. I've been changed so much by this column, you all. Really, I have. This column . . . it's given me some of the greatest friends, greatest experiences, and really changed me as a person. If you think I'm being dramatic, I swear I'm not. Writing these . . . it's really made me realize things about our world I haven't before. It's given me an incredible boost of maturity. And, pffft, you say it's just some column on a website. It's so much more to me. And I hope, in one of these "Emmy's Logo Here", you'll hit something that will affect you, too. I try, I really do.
So here is to another string of "Emmy's Logo Here", and to all who keep me going. I really think it would be unfair to name them all, because there are so many and all of you know how forgetful I am.
Really, I get so much thanks for writing this column, but in the end, you all have given me so much more back then I could have ever hoped for.
I'm not kidding J You know I don't do dramatics.