www.whyville.net Feb 27, 2008 Weekly Issue



CupOfCake
Times Writer

Patrick Star

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Let's play a guessing game:

He's good friends with Spongebob Squarepants, incredibly dull, a little chubby, and lives under a rock. He's got a lovely sense of humor and is slightly delusional. He never wears a shirt and can't swim, even though he lives under water. He's a goofy goober fanatic . . . still don't know? Don't be a Patrick -- it's Patrick Star!

Patrick Star - Noun: A friendly/dull starfish.

Fun Facts:

His neighbors include: Spongebob Squarepants and Squidward Tentacles. He has an award for doing absolutely nothing for the longest period of time. He passed his driver's test on his first attempt. Spongebob sometimes gets jealous of Patrick. Patrick is currently a bachelor. Just waiting for you to climb under his rock and --- oh yeah, need to keep this rated G.

*Unanimous laughing everywhere*

Let's pull out top secret papers on Patrick Star.

Patrick Star's personal note: Patrick waz heeree!

Age: 20 years old.
Birthday: February 20, 1987.
Address: 130 Conch Street, Bikini Bottom.
Siblings: None.
Spouses: Food.
Acquaintances: Squidward Tentacles.
Education Status: Community College.
Hobbies: Jellyfishing, Eating, and Hanging out with Spongebob.
Acting Career: Co-star of Spongebob Squarepants in 'Spongebob Squarepants'.
Occupation: Nothing.

*Unanimous laughing*

Patrick? Is that you? *Turns on light for no apparent reason*. It is! The one and only Patrick Star! Patrick let me interview you!

Patrick: Hi there, who are you?
CupOfCake: I'm CupOfCake, Patrick.
Patrick: Oh, well what would you like?
CupOfCake: I would like to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind.
Patrick: Oh no, I don't mind at all. Go ahead.
CupOfCake: Patrick, with all your success you've must've made bunches of money. So, why don't you move into a bigger rock?
Patrick: I like my neighbors and it wouldn't be fun to live in another rock so far away Spongebob and Squidward.
CupOfCake: Do you like Sandy Cheeks as more then a friend, more like a girlfriend? Because your screenplay surely shows something.
Patrick: Girlfriend? Sandy's a girl?
CupOfCake: Yes, she is Patrick. What about Mr.Krab's what do you think about him?
Patrick: Yeah, he's OK. He gets sweaty a lot and is obsessed with money. He also taught me a not-so-valuable lesson of "borrowing without permission is OK as long as you give it back before the person notices it's gone."
CupOfCake: Which do you prefer: The Krusty Krab or the Chum Bucket? And why?
Patrick: The Krusty Krab. Because Spongebob works there and they have decent food.
CupOfCake: One more thing . . .
Patrick: Yeah?
CupOfCake: May I have your autograph?
Patrick: Sure.

Whyville, now you know Patrick Star. You don't know how lucky you are that you could actually read that interview. There were a lot of spelling errors; it looked as if it was written in German.

There you have it Whyville, I'm off like Patrick sandboarding.
~CupOfCake.

 

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