It's been tough.
Everyday you can bet I will want to rip my "friends'" faces off at least once. I want to scream at my teacher for giving me way too much work for an 8th grader. I want to lash out at my family for just adding to the painful load I already have to carry, baggage too bulky and heavy for any 13 year-old.
Why didn't anybody warn me that it would be this hard? How the heck am I supposed to see where to go when my vision's all clouded over with tears and rejection and those big smudges I call friends?
There are these times when I feel completely alone. There are these days that everyone must irritate me with their stupidity, complaints, or controlling attitudes. There are days when the world throws everything it has at me full force, and I just cower away and let myself get lost in the depths of the storm I call life. My friends let me down except for a few that always listen, my parents yell at me for stupid things I never did, my teacher piles on the work that I don't care about, and everybody seems to be mad at me for something new every hour. Let's throw in the anxiety that I battle everyday, and welcome to my life.
I'm going to need to keep this negativity to a minimum. I'm going to have to let go of those people that are constantly angry, because they aren't mad at me as much as they are with themselves. I feel bad for that girl sometimes, you know the one that constantly lashes out at me because I don't feed her hunger for compliments, perfection, beauty, and amazing grades.
How the heck am I supposed to keep negativity to a minimum when my LIFE is negative?
Life is getting harder the more I grow up. There are easy times, there are hard times, and there are those days I won't ever let go of. There are the days I think I will never get through, but night always comes and I always wake up to another encore. It never fails.
Author's Note: I know you guys are there for me, and thanks very much for always listening to my rantings when I have a bad day. You know who you are :)