I'm starting to feel it. Whyville has played a major part in my life for the past few years. From starting as a class project, to continuing to where I am now, I just feel disconnected.
I don't know why I feel disconnected. I don't think it's due to the changes Whyville is making. I don't think it has anything to do with chatting, considering I was rarely in chat anyway. Is this really happening? Am I really writing this article? Have I really grown out of Whyville?
To be honest I don't know what I'm feeling. I've done everything that I've wanted to do on Whyville. My salary might be 110 clams a day, but I don't use it for anything. I bought a new scion last month with a ton of accessories and haven't driven it once. I've mastered Whyeat, but I don't come on enough to eat. I answer y-mails asking for help. I answer y-mails asking for clams, which I swore not to do. But worst of all, I haven't been writing, and that pains me so.
I haven't written in months. I don't know why. I just don't feel inspired, I guess. This is the first week where I have sent in an article in what seems to be a lifetime. And worse, it wasn't something original. It was an article of the prom. The only thing I could think of to write about. Have I lost the creativity and ideas I once had? Have I just grown up too much? I feel helpless. I want to write so much, but about what? I could write another Disneyland article because they have new ride debuting next week. I could write an article about changes and how I don't like them, but that's already been done. I feel stuck in a white, senseless room. I just don't know.
I've been busy. End of the year = projects, finals, teachers wasting time with useless work they know they won't grade. I have a job this summer. I'm growing up, and Whyville doesn't seem to be catching up with me. I don't want to leave. I don't plan to leave. But am I going to have to? We all get busy, but does that mean I'm too busy for Whyville?
I was recently interviewed by an LA Times reporter for an article I wrote for the Times. She asked me a question, and that was, "Why do you come on Whyville? What do you usually do?" That may be an easy question for you, but for me, I just couldn't find an answer. I eventually said the only real reason I came on was to write for the Times. But the truth was is that I wasn't writing.
I don't want to leave. I don't want to give up. I just don't want to, but I can't explain the feelings I'm having. Am I stuck in some sort of a rut? Am I stressed? Am I too busy? Am I having writer's block? Do I really care? These are all questions that are running through my mind. And frankly I JUST DON'T KNOW! Maybe that's what's bugging me, just not knowing.
This isn't a goodbye article, by any means. I just don't know.
-Eric5675
