www.whyville.net Sep 28, 2008 Weekly Issue

Times Writer

Taking Out the Trash

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Anyone who knows me knows that I like music. It takes hours for me to memorize a math formula, but I only need to listen to a commercial jingle once to have it down perfectly. I walk around humming "Campbell's Tomato Soup: Possibilities!" or "Newsday everyday: News day ev-ry day!" over and over. Almost everybody knows "The Hess Truck's back and it's better than ever . . . for Christmas this year, the Hess Truck's here!" And of course, there's "JG Wentworth, eight-seven-seven-cash-now!" Don't even get me started on those raps they do for the Optonline commercials.


Sorry about that. Couldn't help it.

Getting back to it . . . commercials. I always like listening to the jingles. But there's one thing I just don't get: Why don't tissue brands ever use them? I've heard "A nose in need deserves Puff's Indeed," but that's not a song! And how is Kleenex so popular when they don't even advertise? It's like all those tissue brands just popped into existence!

I'm not here to talk about tissues though. I'm here to talk about the box. That poor, poor jingle-free box that just gets stamped with a label and sits there until it's empty, only to be thrown out. It's an injustice!

Head, Shoulders, Knees and Nose!

First, decorate the tissue box to make it look like a guitar (the opening is in front) - attach a toilet paper roll to the top of it to work as a neck. Use an extra-large rubber band, and fasten each end of it to the vertical sides of the slit in the box. Pluck the rubber band to hear music! If you want a wider range of sound, try adding more rubber bands of different thicknesses and lengths. Experiment, then rock out!

Right Back "Achoo"

Cover every part of the tissue box with giftwrap except the slit in the middle. You can write letters to yourself and keep them stored inside of it. When five years are up, take the letters out and see how much you've grown. Or you can set the box in a place where everyone will see it, and use it as a mail box. If you want your family to vote on next week's dinner, what better place to put the ballot?

Can't Find Kleenex

Is there a certain necklace you wear that everybody borrows without asking you first? Do you have extra savings and no place to put them? Is there something you need, but don't want anyone else to know about? Shh, don't tell me! Just take the empty tissue box, load all your treasures inside, and put a thin layer of tissues on top, with one sticking out, ready to be used. Set it on a bedside dresser, where it looks perfectly in place. It still works as a tissue box, too!

Credit for this week's idea goes to 1512ha. If you want to see your idea in my next article, send me a y-mail. The winner will get a free face part from the store Scavenger's at Akbar's Face Mall! Good luck!

"Strange how potent cheap music is."


Author's Note: Quote by Noel Coward


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